Post by KT ♥ on Oct 11, 2009 16:21:28 GMT -5
Numbness, Nothingness, Nonexistance. All he could feel, It was all he could feel. His body, his time, his life -- nothing. It was empty, a sweltering chasm that burned his nerves black with its frigid insensitivity. It made his heart cold and his thoughts scatter hither-and-to. His veins leaked icicles, his hands shook in agony... but there was nothing there. Nothing at all to make him feel as he did and could not feel.
The power of his nonexistance frightened him, the insignificant worm of his lifeforce made his lip quiver. In a moment, his eyes were bleeding symbolic seawater. He was NOTHING in the sight of all gods and all men. The auction had timed out without any bidders, a worthless peice of merchandise marked for the Hell of a trashbin. To be discarded like an empty bottle of drink and the remnants of his pitiful, intoxicating soul to be sought by the mouths of none but scavengers. He felt so cold. The engravings on his arms were freezing.
Pondering away at the fact of his peculiar nonbeing, on his bed he lay. No other was in the room, none other had been for weeks. The body known as TOBY FELL had hidden itself from a bigger body: the student body. Because there were none that would know he was gone, none that would realize that he, a dead, worthless larvae, was gone.
His absence from society was the only thing he could control, the only event he bridled with a double bit. Beyond the empty dorm door, in that empty world with other empty Insignificants, there lay The Unexpected. And tailing behind that was The Rejected and Failures. They had come knocking earlier in the voice of his counselor but he had not let them in. They could not come in, not in his eight-by-fifteen property of Control. It was the sanest part in his insane world of Nonexistance.
Nonexistance.
He grabbed for control of the downward spiral of Nothingness but the grasp gained no ground. He held nothing in his hands but a photograph, a picture of himself and another. Back then, at the moment of the time-preserving SNAP, he had giggled. Back then, the other boy, ADAM, as he knew, had kissed his cheek in a full tenderness of what he also knew as LOVE. But ADAM had fled into the sanctuary of Nothingness as well. There was no ADAM to kiss him now; his heart was an empty cell. His value had depreciated after the owner, the other boy, had pleaded bankruptcy three months ago. His life interest rate had fallen and flatlined. But there were none to care. No god, no man, no control.
At last the body, the TOBY FELL creature, broke the barrier or immobilization as it forced itself to a sitting position. A silver mirror opposite it mocked it and its owner. The reflection showed no pity to its tear-streaked face. Because there was no pity to be had in an empty world such as his. There was nothing but the flailing of his body as he struggled for air like the drowning soul he was. The mirror knew all and the mirror showed all and the mirror did not lie. White lies were not in the glass's vocabulary.
He was a mess. He was NOTHING. He. Had. Lost. Lost what? CONTROL, a luxury he had never owned in the first place.
At last he stood, pride abused to its maximum by the looking glass. He did not stand for long. The photograph fluttered to the floor. Shaking footfalls brought the body, TOBY FELL, to its dorm room's bathroom. Lack of stability led it to the cabinet adjacent to the toilet. His fingers played with the meaningless combination padlock and managed to open it. The body removed the padlock and opened the labeled door.
The label read FREEDOM.
On top of a mass of papered cleavage and entangled female bodies, property of another body known as WES HASSLE, there lay a week's worth of CONTROL he had hidden. Thirteen little red pills with assorted stripes and letters, glimmering at him and taunting him to take a bite. And he did. And entire mouthful of CONTROL and NOTHINGNESS. Within the hour, the end of The Unexpected had arrived and The Rejected and Failures happily embraced him once again.
He was dead and now he was truly NOTHING... But not for long.
The power of his nonexistance frightened him, the insignificant worm of his lifeforce made his lip quiver. In a moment, his eyes were bleeding symbolic seawater. He was NOTHING in the sight of all gods and all men. The auction had timed out without any bidders, a worthless peice of merchandise marked for the Hell of a trashbin. To be discarded like an empty bottle of drink and the remnants of his pitiful, intoxicating soul to be sought by the mouths of none but scavengers. He felt so cold. The engravings on his arms were freezing.
Pondering away at the fact of his peculiar nonbeing, on his bed he lay. No other was in the room, none other had been for weeks. The body known as TOBY FELL had hidden itself from a bigger body: the student body. Because there were none that would know he was gone, none that would realize that he, a dead, worthless larvae, was gone.
His absence from society was the only thing he could control, the only event he bridled with a double bit. Beyond the empty dorm door, in that empty world with other empty Insignificants, there lay The Unexpected. And tailing behind that was The Rejected and Failures. They had come knocking earlier in the voice of his counselor but he had not let them in. They could not come in, not in his eight-by-fifteen property of Control. It was the sanest part in his insane world of Nonexistance.
Nonexistance.
He grabbed for control of the downward spiral of Nothingness but the grasp gained no ground. He held nothing in his hands but a photograph, a picture of himself and another. Back then, at the moment of the time-preserving SNAP, he had giggled. Back then, the other boy, ADAM, as he knew, had kissed his cheek in a full tenderness of what he also knew as LOVE. But ADAM had fled into the sanctuary of Nothingness as well. There was no ADAM to kiss him now; his heart was an empty cell. His value had depreciated after the owner, the other boy, had pleaded bankruptcy three months ago. His life interest rate had fallen and flatlined. But there were none to care. No god, no man, no control.
At last the body, the TOBY FELL creature, broke the barrier or immobilization as it forced itself to a sitting position. A silver mirror opposite it mocked it and its owner. The reflection showed no pity to its tear-streaked face. Because there was no pity to be had in an empty world such as his. There was nothing but the flailing of his body as he struggled for air like the drowning soul he was. The mirror knew all and the mirror showed all and the mirror did not lie. White lies were not in the glass's vocabulary.
He was a mess. He was NOTHING. He. Had. Lost. Lost what? CONTROL, a luxury he had never owned in the first place.
At last he stood, pride abused to its maximum by the looking glass. He did not stand for long. The photograph fluttered to the floor. Shaking footfalls brought the body, TOBY FELL, to its dorm room's bathroom. Lack of stability led it to the cabinet adjacent to the toilet. His fingers played with the meaningless combination padlock and managed to open it. The body removed the padlock and opened the labeled door.
The label read FREEDOM.
On top of a mass of papered cleavage and entangled female bodies, property of another body known as WES HASSLE, there lay a week's worth of CONTROL he had hidden. Thirteen little red pills with assorted stripes and letters, glimmering at him and taunting him to take a bite. And he did. And entire mouthful of CONTROL and NOTHINGNESS. Within the hour, the end of The Unexpected had arrived and The Rejected and Failures happily embraced him once again.
He was dead and now he was truly NOTHING... But not for long.